Draw Near to My Quiet Heart

To a silent tongue and contemplative mind, You draw near, O All Holy Spirit, bridegroom of my soul. You avoid a talkative tongue as a swan avoids a stormy lake. Like a swan you swim across the quiet of my heart and make it fruitful.

~ St. Nikolai Velimirovich, Prayers by the Lake

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve experienced regret after oversharing… over talking.

“I said too much,” I lament, replaying the conversation over and over again in my head. When I speak without pausing, and without being intentional about listening for the Holy Spirit’s guidance, the words that spew out of my mouth are often idle and empty, or at worst complainy, gossipy, harsh and judgemental.

I feel unsettled when my tongue is irrepressible, so every morning I ask Christ to help me tame it. It takes practice and effort to weigh each word before speaking, swallowing those that are unnecessary or negative. Sometimes I have to literally put my hand in front of my mouth to restrain myself from lecturing when I should be listening or from engaging my passions by making sure my opinions have been heard.

Swallowing my words can burn;  it is painful! But the burning is transformative! That burning devours my pride and self-centeredness.  Restraint becomes easier with practice and ceaseless prayer. The fruits of that effort are inner calm and contentment, and the strengthening of my relationships.

God, please give me victory over my impulses. Draw near to my quiet heart and let me dwell in, and embody, your transcendent peace.

~ Molly