Soul-care in times of struggle and exhaustion

Count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing the testing of your faith produces patience.

– James 1:2-3

I’ve always struggled with impatience. I’ll surrender a troubling situation to God for about ten minutes and then take it right back and start trying to figure it out, force a resolution, and generally just overthink and overreact, which makes me feel inwardly turbulent, burnt out, and icky. “Once this all-consuming trial passes,” I’ll reason, “I’ll get right back to living intentionally.”  But I’ve learned over and over that when I’m most fiercely tempted to forsake my intentional living habits (due to depletion and overwhelm), I need them most. 

Personal and spiritual growth feels energizing and obtainable in periods of relative calm. But what about those seasons of crisis or when the crosses I must carry feel particularly crushing and confounding? How do I access peace and productivity when I am especially vulnerable to spinning my wheels and adopting unhealthy coping mechanisms?

Here are some self-care habits I cling to to restore inner calm and keep me inching forward when I feel stretched to my limit:

1.        Reading and listening to spiritually nourishing content

 On my hardest days, I’ll pull up the Ancient Faith Psalter on Audible and let the Psalms wash over my anxious mind and troubled heart; They are potent medicine for a weary spirit. Similarly, reading edifying books and listening to uplifting podcasts that positively influence my mindset and perspectives gives me the courage to do the next right thing with all the faith and obedience I can muster. 

2.        Five-minute breaks of deep breathing and mindfulness

When the noise in my head gets chaotic and despairing, I find a quiet spot in the house, car, or out in nature to be still and descend into the depths of my soul. Deep, slow belly breaths reduce my bodily stress, and the silence helps me detach from negative ruminations. Once my restlessness has settled, I meditate on Christ and just “be” in His presence. 

3.        Weekly/Daily planning

When my mind feels weighed down by decision fatigue, routines help alleviate my mental exhaustion and stress. In periods of heaviness and strain, not having to figure out at the last minute what to make for dinner or what the next right thing is is such a gift and relief.  Taking a few moments to create and write down a plan for the day provides stability and structure amid uncertainty.  

4.        Connecting with others (even when it feels too hard)

This is a big one for me. When spiraling into a pit of negativity, it is so very tempting to curl up and isolate. Church and coffee hour feel too overwhelming, that work meeting feels too overwhelming, and that book club gathering feels way too overwhelming, but when I stretch myself and show up anyway, I find community and the change of scenery to be exactly what I needed. I can’t tell you how many times God has comforted and guided me through my interactions with others. Getting out of my own head to connect with friends, neighbors, fellow parishioners, etc. lightens the heaviness and darkness in my heart.  

5.        Repeating mantras that keep me anchored to Christ 

Also known as arrow prayers, my mantras are short, simple, repeated phrases that soothe my inner turbulence. Like the Jesus Prayer, they keep intrusive thoughts at bay and my focus locked in on Jesus as the waves of life rise and fall. My current favorites are:

Be always with Christ and trust Him in everything (from the 55 Maxims, Fr. Thomas Hopko)

Trust in the Lord with all your heart…in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path (Proverbs 3:5-6)

O, taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the one who trusts in Him (Psalm 33:9)

Bring my soul out of prison that I might give thanks to your name (Psalm 141:8)

6.        Journaling

Sometimes, I forget that my trials prepare my soul for the Kingdom of Heaven. Journaling helps me yield to my big and small sufferings instead of resisting them.    My go-to journaling prompt is, “How might I grow spiritually and personally from this hardship?” Reflecting on that question can make for some challenging inner work, but through intentional reframing, I can see how the current thorn in my flesh is quite effectively increasing my patience, stretching my faith, quieting my ego, and teaching me that peace is only found in letting go and releasing all I cannot control to God.  

Intentional living is crucial for staying the course and not being defeated by temptations to doubt, despair, and stay down when I stumble. "But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint." ( Isaiah 40:31)

Praise God for every reminder to run to Him for help and healing!